Big Sigh

So this week at work, well each day has been getting progressively more intense and stressful and while It's kind of fun and nice to be busy, the stress is taking amajor toll on my body and my attitude. I thinkt he bad weather is playing a huge part as well.

Yesterday it was raining, and I have to admit when it rains, it doesnt seem as bad to walk to bart in the rain cause i knwo my babe will pick me up on the other end, I even made an effort to not leave so late, even though I still had a ton to do. I felt seriously beat, physically and just tired all around. When I called Wes he was still at work too! Now I guess I tend to be a bit self-aware and wasn't as sensative to the fact that he didnt sleep well and was working late, cause all i could think about was poor me.

I knew we needed some key ingredients at home, so despite me being wet, my umbrella broken and my spirits down, I went to the store and got a few things. For some reason on the walk home from BART, in the rain, aching body, broken spirits, broken umbrella, in the rain I just wanted to cry. I wanted out fo the wet unconfortable work clothes, but not before I showered. So when I got home I dropped everything, didnt even put the milk away and got in the hot soothing shower. It hurt to stand up. Once out fo the shower and drying off I heard wes come home. I did not give him the warm welcome he is used to, i was still seething from how I felt and he went into the bathroom and istarted to make dinner. Soon Sophia said "there's a leak!" I'm thinking, how could there be a leak? - its a brand new house! Oh but it wasnt a leak, it was a displaced hose on the washer and there was a HUGE puddle. Sophia was a rock star and helped to clean it up, I finished making dinner and it wasnt until dinner was ready (hour later) that Wes emerged. I told him what happened through the door. Looking back i guess i felt a little abandoned in my time fo need. Wes was having a bad day too and was under no obligation topick me up from bart, and i certainly went right in the shower when i got home, so why couldnt he? but between the leak, my hungry sore body and my poor attitude, i was upset he wasnt there, then when he came out, he told me that i practically ignored him when he got home and that made him feel bad after his rough day and i just lost it. How can i be so self-involved? I felt like a total asshole and i lost my appetite and cried while he consoled me. I felt like mroe of a jerk cause now he was being so tender and sweet to me and i was the one being a jerk. we talked it out though and then relaxed to watch an episode of grey's anatomy on dvd. This is when i realized how cold iwas, i really felt freezing, chills and just totally cold. i was feeling so beat, i had to go to bed. I gave wes a kiss and crawled under the covers and slept very well.

This morning Iwoke up with the most raging headache ive had in a very long time, it still hasnt gone away after two ibuprofins. i also had to find the least offensive pair of back-up sunglasses, since mine broke and go to work in a pretty ugly outfit with just about the worst hair-day. At least it wasnt raining, but it was cold. very cold. The funny thing is , yesterday i wore a new top, it was white and fuzzy and super cute, but i got no compliments. today i wear my crazy paisley cowboy shirt and get two compliments before 9am. between that, the joke lynne made and the strawberries she brought in, i already feel better.

TGIF is an understatement!

oh and diet-wise, i am still tracking, still going over my points, but not as much as i did last week. im feeling pretty good about things.